Day 121 - please not another day like this!

OK so this has been a HORRIBLE day! It started at 6:40 with a wrestling match with my 6 year old, who not only won, but took on 3 adults in the process!  Not something that ANY mother wants to handle.  Especially with a child who is autistic, has NO threshold for pain and is in a rage moment.  I swear if it weren't for his neurologist, I would not have had a clue how to react.  I swear I wish there were classes for parents like us!

I was fortunate to get to work after getting his meds in him (since he was raging so badly, it only took 20 mins to kick in). When I got to work I LOST IT! Crying like a freak.  I was fortunate to have friends there who held me up in prayer.  My co-workers are so understanding and kind to my son even in this situation.  It makes my blood boil for people to make judgements and comments about his behavior or his disorder.  Let me be the first person to tell you, there's not a second of what I do that's easy, but I wouldn't trade ANY OF IT.  I love all of my kids exactly how they are.  They are not my inconvenience, they are an extension of me....you dislike them, you dislike me....PERIOD!!

Breakfast: oats
Snack: protein shake
Lunch: chicken, turkey bacon, carrots, cucumber, hummus, potato
Snack: missed
Dinner: chicken

I ate an undisclosed amount of cake at church tonight....both cheesecake and carrot cake (great job Joann) Oh, and at work I ate 3 laffy taffy's, sixlets and a mini box of nerds.....I think that's all.   I realize it was stress eating.  I realize it was wrong.  It was a moment of weakness.  I have to admit, I'm so afraid that I'm heading in the wrong direction.  Lately, I feel as if everything is spiraling out of control.  I just feel like I need lots of prayers right now, because my diet is the last thing that's really on my mind and heart right now.  Right now, I'm just trying to learn to "let go" - this is something that I can't fix....





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