So, today was one of those off kilter days and I have to admit I caved today. I am SO disappointed in myself and I'm afraid that I will not hit my goal tomorrow over it. :'( Nobody's fault but my own! Started off - sleep deprived. I have NO CLUE why I can't seem to fall asleep at night without the aid of Nyquil. Got to work, had 2 staff members out sick, then Mark had to leave for a doctors appointment and then to add insult to injury, I got a call from school, my son REFUSED to get on the school but because he was hungry and slept through his computer time today. So, needless to say this sent him into Chernobyl. Peed in his pants, screaming, punching, kicking, yelling obscent comments...etc.... FESTIVE......NOT!!!! So then I got back to work and filled in back in the back to try to get them caught up a bit, then ran back up front typed up my letters and then left for the day. After that, I headed on over to the gym, I saw Sarah and Chip (trainers) they are always very encouraging. Chip said "your getting there" and Sarah and I had our usual talk ~ she's very sweet and helpful. She even looked at my workout tonight and said it's called something (I can't remember) and that it's very good for weight-loss. Anyway, when I left there, I just DID NOT feel like cooking dinner, so I stopped with the 2 free coupons for pizza that I had and picked up a pepperoni and sausage pizza from Papa John's.
Breakfast: shake
Snack: missed
Lunch: hamburger, rosemary potatoes, carrots and hummus
Snack: apples and grapes (on the way to the gym) actually missed real snack time
Dinner: 1 Pc of pepperoni pizza and garlic sauce (I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW)
If it helps anyone to feel better, I was dry-heaving after eating it. If I had eaten anymore of it, it would have ended up like the night of the hot-dog. IDK why I was just CRAVING something SO BAD for me, but I totally lost the battle today! I'm also anticipating that it will not be helpful in my battle with the bulge either!
It was a true moment of weakness. Sometimes, I feel that I'm just not as strong as the temptations that are around me. Sometimes, I'm FULLY AWARE of what I throw myself into the midst of and I simply dismiss it! I was frustrated from the moment that I woke up this morning, and I still feel that frustration now at 11pm at night! I can also tell that in my attitude and actions today that I was a poor example of a friend or christian. I felt very discouraged and cynical - I have actually been feeling this way for a couple of days now. It just compounded today to become the straw. No further excuses....it's all me, all in my head, all an emo thing and I'm handling it rather poorly both emotionally and apparently physically. Well, off to TRY to go to bed......we'll see how tomorrow goes and how exactly I've jacked everything up!
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