Day 106 - The greatest gift ever...

Today started off as yesterday did.  I woke again very tired and irritable!  My blog never posted last night before I closed my laptop, so it was waiting for me this morning.  I hit the post button and waited for the imminent wrath.  I have to admit, that did not happen at all.  I always work myself up thinking that I'm going to get chewed out or the disappointed speech, etc.  Sometimes I think I even set myself up to see if it's going to happen.  Instead, what actually happened was the sweetest thing that anyone has ever done for me.  Something more important than anything material that could've been given to me, etc.  My trainer Nikki and her sweet boy Clayton popped through the door at work simply to give me a hug.  I'm so used to having "conditional" friendships.  Everything's all good....unless..... But that's not at all how it was!  I asked Nikki, "did you come to yell at me?" and she said, "No, I read your blog and I knew you needed a hug."   

I'm a very independent person.  I DO NOT like to feel like the "needy" or "emo" friend.  I even actually categorize my friends....sorry, it's true.  I'd much rather be alone and without a single friend than to feel that I have impositioned a friend.  I have to admit though, God knew I needed Nikki in my life.  More than just a trainer, but as a TRUE friend, that even when I haven't followed "the rules" (kind-of like when our friends give us advice and we do the exact opposite) she doesn't just throw up her hands and say, "why do I try to begin with?" Instead she says "my friend needs me, and I'm going to be there." So she gave up her time, drove from Green Hills to Hendersonville to simply give me a hug!  I could see a beautiful picture of Christ today in my friend.....Thank you.  That was a better gift than anything that I have ever received. 

I'm very guarded in my friendships, and have built a wall of protection.  Unfortunately, I have also intentionally kept Nikki at arms length, because in the fact of her showing how much she loves and cares for me as a friend, I have felt....this too will soon end.  I haven't wanted to fully trust her or believe that she REALLY cares for me without there being"strings-attached."  This has caused me to doubt, judge motivations, intentions and behaviors and not simply trust that God knew whom I needed in my life to encourage me and teach me along this journey and to see a glimpse of what His unconditional love is like.  She's truly helped me grow closer to God. I know it sounds dumb....you'd have to be in my head (& that's a scary place to be)! 

Anyway....my weight this week did not change a single ounce.  Despite my pizza rant last night!  On a good note, I DID lose 2 inches! :)

Breakfast: smoothie
Snack: missed
Lunch: carrots, hummus, turkey, potatoes
Snack: apples, turkey and almonds
Dinner: pork-chop, tomatoes

Here's the promised link of Sunday's sermon where God first grabbed me this week! I feel so blessed tonight.  and I believe I have thrown out enough "verbal vomit" for one night!  I'm ready to go to sleep....NIGHT!