Day 55 - So the truth is..... I lied

Earlier today my hubby was drinking a Coke and I haven't had one in apparently....55 days, so my brain was still saying..."you like this....and you want this."  I wanted to humor myself, because there was no way I couldn't like coke - even after this short period of time.  So I took a sip (I'm talking like tablespoon maybe) and OMGSH - it was HORRIBLE!!! Tasted like syrup and carbonation...it was gross - I immediately ran for my water and drank up - I could even still taste it on my lips and had to go wash them off! Well....there's 1 thing my mind lied about!

I have been floating around today and was doing just fine and dandy....until the Super Bowl Party at church!  All my friends were eating wings and peanut butter pie and chili, rotel dip...yadda yadda yadda.... And one of them said "oh girl, I'm so sorry to be eating this around you." To which I replied, "I'm all good....it doesn't bother me anymore." Then it hit me....like the force of a freight train and I was standing in the middle of the track....IT DOES BOTHER ME!!! I want all of that CRAP you are eating! I want to totally Pig-out on ALL of the un-healthy crap! I know I will regret every second of it....but I just have to admit....it's been a hard day!  

Part of that stress started with me having to sing a song in choir next Sunday that I'd really rather not sing.  UGH - I tried to approach it in a joking manner because I'd rather not say - NO, I absolutely DO NOT want to sing this song!

I have to admit that the ONLY reason I did not throw in the towel today is because I hate letting people down.  I can be a failure to myself, but I can't let others down without fear of back-lash!  I'm just feeling a bit "emo" tonight!  Just being real....

Food:
Breakfast: eggs and oats
Snack: strawberries and turkey
Lunch: salad and taco meat
Snack: Home-made PB on Zeke and grapes
Dinner: Chicken tortilla soup and 6 chips crumbled

I really enjoyed sitting with my pastor's wife and some other ladies tonight in her office and just chatting because it helped get my mind off of it for a little while!  My hubby even came to me and said "we've got to get you more stuff you can have....I can tell you are hungry." I didn't even have to say a word to him...that's the cool thing about being married to your soul-mate....he knows me without ever having to say a thing!  Well, because I'm still teetering on going overboard or crying....I guess I will go to bed....because one of the two is bound to happen any minute now!