208 - think on THESE things!

Food: yogurt
Dinner: shrimp with noodles and cheddar biscuits

Not on my plan.  Guess I don't have the determination to do this afterall.  I just pulled out my devotional to read because I feel like this whole thing is falling apart around me while I sit idle nearby as a bystander instead of a participant.  Of course, it seems I skip days of reading my devotional, pick it back up and it's just what I needed to hear. Tonight, she stated "I'm not on a diet, I'm on a journey with Jesus to learn the fine art of self-discipline for the purpose of holiness."  *SMACK* I LACK SELF-DISCIPLINE!  I'm SO friggin impulsive!

A little further in the chapter she said "We do need a healthy eating plan, which some of us will refer to as a diet.  But we must have a depth of restraint that can only come from making this a spiritual growth journey.  Putting all of our hope in religious adherence to a human-designed diet can create a false sense of prideful self-effort, harsh treatment of the body and, in the end, usually failure."

This would be where I am sitting at this very moment.  I couldn't have gotten this far if Christ hadn't put the tools in my path.  But, I find that I'm rather selfish and want to scream "I'M THE ONE HAVING TO DO ALL OF THIS CRAP....NOBODY UNDERSTANDS TRULY HOW I FEEL." And hence, I kick back into the all about me selfish mode and sabotage everything that took me weeks to accomplish in just a few short days! REALLY?!?!?


And THEN, she had to go throwing scripture out there!

^{Colossians 2:20-23 20} Since you died with Christ to the elemental spiritual forces of this world, why, as though you still belonged to the world, do you submit to its rules: ²¹ “Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!”? ²² These rules, which have to do with things that are all destined to perish with use, are based on merely human commands and teachings. ²³ Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.

It finishes up the chapter saying "Willpower alone is not enough to bring about this change; start by realizing that you cannot do this alone."

I cannot do this alone.  Not even remotely.  After how I've been feeling this past week, I think it's time for me to go to bed and to think on these things...and the choices I need to make.