Day 171 - Shaken Adult Syndrome

I'm really excited, because Dr. Cohen brought me some dumbells to work.  So now I officially have 2 pound, 5 pound, 8 pound, 15 pound, 20 pound and 30 pound dumbells! BAM!!   I did my "D-circut" tonight to make up for jacking stuff up!  It felt too stinking easy.  I have realistically just stopped working out and giving it my all lately.  I swear I need someone to grab ahold of me and give me Shaken Adult Syndrome! It's easy for me to throw in the towel if I feel others have given up on me.  I also find it easy to convince myself that they have just so I can get out of all of this!

I always tell myself that I'm strong and that I'm not letting anyone see my weakness, when it's laid out in front of everyone and they can realistically see everything I'm doing...or not!  The only person I'm fooling here is myself, and I've been the one to throw in the towel on myself. 

Part of me is afraid to leave what I've become so comfortable with.  It's easy to hide behind "fat" since so many people are repulsed by fat people.  As I found myself heading towards "skinny", so many people saw it as an opportunity to give me their opinions as if I had solicited it.  I'm not trying to be the next bikini model, I'm trying to be a better wife, mom and person who is healthy!

The hardest thing for me to admit is I'm really NOT as strong as half of you think I am....I would ask anyone who reads this to "rough me up" a bit to keep me focused. Don't let me give you a bull-crap answer out of your accountability! Help me not to give up in this and stay on me!

Breakfast: cereal
Snack: yogurt and grapes
Lunch: turkey, carrots, potato hashbrowns (baked) provolone cheese
Snack: EAS with 1 teaspoon of PB
Dinner: grilled chicken, green beans

And to my Facebook stalker (you know who you are *wink*wink) It was a good day today! Thank you for the smile and laughs while you were in the office today!