Day 155 - Blah!

OK, so I weighed in today, and my week of not going to the gym encompassed with bad eating cost me BIG-TIME! 200 Pounds.....AGAIN! I'm so OVER THIS!  I really want some regular food.  I can only do "healthy" for so long, and I think I've met my limit! No dairy, no bacon, no sweets I think I could punch someone in the face.....just sayin'! I'm just CRAVING unhealthy stuff! I'm so sick of veggies, chicken, peanut butter, protein powder and oats that I swear I could go the rest of my life and never see them again....and that would be just fine with me....that is unless the chicked is FRIED!! That's right....I said it!

I was totally going to skip my weigh-in today.  But I just couldn't. IDK why? It's like I want to break away from all of this crap and yet there's a piece of dental floss still holding me here....lol! As usual, I don't blame anyone, but I also don't see me hitting any goals at this rate.  And you can only keep going for so long.  My friends are supportive, but I just don't feel I have the support of my family. 

My gym time has doubled and I literally could SCREAM at the top of my lungs! I barely have time to pee during a given day! More-less spend an hour at the gym then trying to cook dinner, give everyone their proper amount of demanded attention, and still feel like I can have a moment to me! Yep that's right, I'm selfish and I want just a flipping moment of silence for myself! I feel like everything and everyone in my life is demanding more and more, and quite frankly I have nothing left to give.  So if I give you crap....it's because that's all that's left!  I love each of my friends and my family, but I swear... I HAVE to cut back somewhere!

Breakfast: oats
Snack: greek yogurt
Lunch: cucumber, carrots, avocado, pork-chop, cake
Snack: none
Dinner: 3 pcs turkey bacon, biscuit, tomato and 1 teaspoon of mayo. (my version of a BLT)

Yep, screwed it up all again today.....what's new??  I feel like I'm in the midst of a storm and I'm waving a white flag - HELP!! I SURRENDER!!!